Let's Talk Kitty Talk : Pros and Cons of being married

This BLOG ENTRY is dedicated to :

1) Married people (like me)

2) Engaged (Basahin mo ito para alam mo ang pinapasok mo)

3) Sa Mag PRO-PROPOSE (Ihanda mo ang sarili mo tol)

4) Nangangarap ng MAKAPAG-ASAWA (Masaya lang talaga mag imagine, mag imagine ka nalang muna)

5) SINGLE (Ang swerte lang!)

Sabi nila, sobrang aga ko nag-asawa o sa salitang kalye eh, LUMANDI. madami ngang lumabas na accusation na BUNTIS ako, kaya sobrang napabilis ang pag aasawa ko, lalo na ang napangasawa ko ay bago ko palang kakilala. but i managed to proved na ang PREGNANCY ISSUE eh puro kaimbentuhan lang ng mga tao sa paligid ligid.

Nainlove ako eh, Inalok ako ng kasal. choosy pa ba?. I love Dwi and I'm afraid to lose him that's why, when we decided to get married natakot ako na kapag tumanggi ako, baka pumanget ang relasyon. OO, madaming eeksena dyan na, "IF HE LOVES YOU, HE WILL UNDERSTAND YOU AND HE WILL WAIT FOR YOU. " leche, tantanan nga ako, hindi lahat ng lalake ay pare-pareho, hindi lahat ng pananaw nating maganda ay tumutugma sa realidad ng buhay. Ikaw, bet mo ba iwan ka ng taong sobra mong mahal? Afford mo yun?

Anyway, aware naman ako na ang pag-aasawa ay hindi fairytale na ke-ganda ganda ng eksena, para itong TELESERYE na sumasalamin sa tunay na buhay. May taong nagmamahalan at may mga taong mahilig umeksena, parang si Margarette sa Walang Hanggan. HAHAHA. Alam ko naman na hindi lang ako ang natatanging babae na nararanasan ang hagupit ni habagat sa buhay, dahil kung ako lang ang nakakaranas eh talaga naman na napakamalas ko talagang nilalang at ipatatanggal ko na talaga ang balat ko sa pwet. 

Kaya sa may mga asawang katulad ko at sa mga taong kaka I DO palang. Welcome sa buhay na inihantulad sa Rollercoaster. yung iba panigurado sanay na sa mga bagong pag didiskubre sa katangian ng asawa nila, pero yung mga bagong recruit dyan (lakas maka frat) masasanay din kayo, basta tatagan nyo lang ang loob nyo, pangaralan kung maari, ituro ang tama at mali. para lang yan training sa pag aalaga ng anak. Mag-usap kayo ng mga bagay na gusto at ayaw nyo, para naman magkaintindihan kayo at pareho kayo maka pag adjust.

Sa mga taong ENGAGED na, iba ang buhay ng mag jowa sa buhay mag live-in at buhay mag asawa. Tandaan, ang buhay pag-aasawa ay hindi parang isang kanin na kapag napaso eh iluluwa. dapat pag napasa, buksan mo lang ang bibig mo tapat mo sa electrict fan para lumamig, pero wag na wag mo iluluwa. dahil, ng mag desisyon ka na pakasalan siya eh, nag desisyon ka na hindi ka na titingin sa iba. Siya na ang huling taong jojowain mo, huling taong liligawan mo, huling taong susuyuin mo pag nagtampo siya sayo, WALA NG IBA. kasi kaya nga KASAL eh. KAsama mo SA Lahat. (Akalain mo yun nagawan ko pa ng acronyms) sa hirap at ginhawa, lahat ng desisyon nyo dapat mutual kasi kayo ay iisa na. 

Sa mga lalakeng mag pro-propose palang, Siguraduhin mo na siya na talaga ha. Masakit kasi yung aalukin ka ng kasal ayun pala hindi rin sa simbahan ang tuloy, hindi rin pala siya ang makakasama mo sa pagharap sa altar. Wag ganun! Kung desidido ka na sa isa, edi go! wag ka aatras, pero kung hindi pa buo ang loob mo at nag aalinlangan ka pa, wag na wag ka mag pro-propose dahil masaya ka lang. Pakiramdaman mo ang sarili mo, wag ka paasa effect, kung ayaw mo maisumpa sa ilalim ng buwan.

Sa mga Nangangarap na makapag-asawa na tanungin mo din ang sarili mo kung handa ka na minsan kasi sa kapapangarap mo akala mo lahat maganda. kala mo lahat masaya. kala mo lahat madali lang. maganda naman yang motivation sa buhay kaya lang pag nasobrahan tapos hindi pala maganda ang kinalabasan pagkatapos mong pumirma eh masasaktan ka lang ng bongga. Take your time pa to find the one for you pero wag mo alisin sa isip mo na lahat ng tao ay hindi perperkto, may mga tao dyan na 30 na pero asal 7 years old pa din, pero hindi ko pinariringgan si Dwi. mahaba pa ang buhay, wag ka pressure kahit na naunahan ka pa ng pamangkin mo mag ka-asawa. 

Sa mga single, kung feeling nyo malas kayo, pwes hindi totoo yan. masarap kaya maging single. madami kang bagay na magagawa at mabibili ng walang inaalala na ibang tao. kahit pa gumala ka ng gumala at umuwi ka ng 9 ng umaga wala kang asawa na magbubunganga sayo, ang nanay at tatay mo lang ang mag sasabi sayo na "anak, tama na yan" wala ka ng ibang tao iintindihin at uunawain mo, kahit mangulekta ka pa ng I phone at ng kotse ay jusko magagawa mo yan, mas madami kang freedom, magpakasasa ka hanggang kaya mo para kapag nag desisyon ka na mag asawa eh wala ka ng masaydong luho at pa teen ager ang peg.

Naway' nagustuhan nyo ang aking mga tips sa pag aasawa. kung may alam pa kayo na tips eh ieksena nyo na dito. 

Salamat

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AndiChat is a Frustrated Filipina Tryinghard Blogger. A self acclaimed poor in English and Grammar person based in Singapore.

For more information, questions and suggestions you can email me at andichat12@gmail.com

you can also support me with my dreams by following me here in my blog. that you can find on the left side of my page. (Readers!) :))

 

My Darling is a FOREIGNER

Have you guys watched that movie? (My Darling is a Foreigner)  about this Japanese Girl who have a romantic affair with an American Guy (?), that movie is awesome!!

I watched that movie around 2010 (?) together with Dwi, that time we are still in a dating period, i didn't know that i'm gonna get married with Dwi. The movie shows the Differences of two people who grew up in different environment. Just exactly like me. 

I've been married to Dwi for 1 year, 3 months and 3 days to be EXACT. at first it's okay but slowly all the differences came out. I must admit I had a hard time coping up with all of these differences that i didn't saw before.

One of our Differences is ENGLISH. Dude! All along i admit that i am not good in English, my blog is completely messed up with all of my wrong grammar,. but KIBEEEEER!. During our argumentation i always ended up "nose bleed". I don't have a choice but to speak in English, a Language that since birth i am not confident to use. a language that i am very shy to use. but since i met him and i fell in love with him. I forced my self to speak the language that i am afraid of. I told to myself, if i want this relationship to work out, i must  face one of my fears. 

Now, I am no longer shy to express my self to him and to his friends..KIBEEEER! I can speak now some words of Singaporean  Hokkien while Dwi can speak and UNDERSTAND TAGALOG. 

Truly, love speaks a thousand words. 

The History of Potatoes this morning.

My Hubby / Best friend / Partners in Crime knows how to make me laugh when i'm sad, makes me cool down when my blood  pressure goes up and most specially knows how to pissed me off unexpectedly. 

My Blog entry  for today is.............TADAAAAAAN! "The History of Potatoes this Morning".

Last Night, Here's the discussion.

Dwi : So what's for dinner?

Me: I cooked rice but i haven't cook any viand 

Dwi : Waaah! you cook  rice arh? You should cook the potatoes you know, we got a lot leh. potatoes starting to rot

Me: Okay lah. Then tomorrow i will make a mashed potato can?

Dwi : Can.

----The End---

So, this morning i woke up extra early to cook the potatoes while waiting for the MCST people to pass me the extra access card. I even had an idea to post here about "how to make mashed potato" I even took a photo of each and every step of it. Ideas are starting to run inside my small brain. just like this.

1) For you to be able to make a MASHED POTATO, you should have a POTATOES Dude!

2) Take out the skin by PEELING IT! 

3) After you peeled, you should wash it! 

4) Then  you can starting chop / slice it into a "just nice" size. 

5) Boil it! make sure the potato will be soft enough to mash.

6) After mashing it, Add Butter then Mix

7).......................

Then the History starts now, there is no Photo or even step no. 7 cos after the MCST Lady pass the key Dwi said "LET'S GO!". 

Let's Go means, we are going off to the rental van shop. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN! I told him to eat first but he said no more TIME!. SIAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOO!. 

Then i NAG him. NAG NAG NAG. Yeaaaah! you can call me a NAGGER if you want, if this kind of moment happen to you, HOW DO YOU FEEL? TELL ME!!!

He told me that he will just eat the mashed potato tonight once he reach home. BUT, NO! I will not continue preparing the mashed potato. I am not preparing dinner tonight no matter how hungry I am now. Lete's see what will happen once he reach HOME. >.<

Super Glue

It's Dwi's fault. His Fault. 

Tonight, the person who will rent our extra room will be shifting their stuffs. so Dwi immediately remove the single bed inside cos they dun need it. They are couple who needs a queen size bed. Actually, Dwi and I used to sleep in a single bed and i find it more sweeter than sleeping in a queen or king size bed. I realized the more space that your bed have, the less chance of you and your other half will squeeze and hug each other. 

Since Dwi and I started to sleep in a queen size, i still squeeze my self to him. he is in the edge of the bed already because of me. The reason is, I'm used to his scents already that i can't sleep properly without sniffing him while i'm slowly slowly slowly sloooooowly falling asleep.

Anyway, the topic is not about how me and Dwi sleeps. Let's back to the main topic. so while i'm cooking , Dwi's uninstalling the bed, he accidentally spoil it! ALAMAAAAAAAAAAAK!

So, now you know guys what is the connection of the Super Glue with this Blog, Yes. I fixed the broken pieces of the bed, i put a super glue and the Stupid me accidentally squeeze so much and guess what happened next... CORRECT! The super glue spread on my fingers, but i didn't care much, i still tried to put the broken pieces together until i realize that my middle finger is resting on my pointing finger. VERY GOOOOD! 

My two little poor fingers got stick together like Siao, and i forced to separate them and the pain is like Siao.

Sian, painful lor. It's Dwi's fault leh. i almost burst into tears, then he told me the story of Super Glue. He told me the real purpose of Super Glue. He told me that the Super Glue is meant for medical use, Nope it's not a medicine that you can drink, but if you want you try lah, let's see what will happen to your whole mouth leh. Anyway he said like if operation, after the stitches and all that, this super glue use to put on the stitches before put the bandage (can't remember the term he used). 

Woooh, super glue is really super glue leh. SUPPPPPEEEEER!. the i started to think, does the doctor used super glue to put on the boys "little one" after their circumcision? or does the dentist can put super glue after he/she pluck the wisdom tooth? or what will happen if i put super glue on my lips and close it? will it be very painful if i forced my lips to open? or how long my lips will be close? After that, what will be the smell? will Dwi very happy to kiss me?

Anyway, my fingers are so weird now cos it's very rough. hope tomorrow everything will be fine :)

When the ride is no longer FUN

I let go but after a few days I will try to hold again, Hold to what I believe that there is really something. As the days gone by, we became closer and closer. The sudden change to our closeness became a hot topic for both establishments that we’re working at, I can feel the full and obvious support from both bars. They always item us, teased us and I like it very much, I enjoy it a lot. We started to share our beautiful past memories; I can feel that he is really into me.

But one night, a former apple of my eye came. It seriously confuses my thoughts, I debate again with myself, and it’s like an endless argumentation between me and my very own feelings. But somewhere in my heart whispering that Dwijin is more special than this guy. Former apple of my eye and I suddenly got a gap. I don’t know if the problem is with me or with him, but that time I am very conscious on how Dwijin might feel if he saw me entertaining former apple of my eye. I am very concerned for something that I shouldn’t be.

I finally proved to myself that it’s Dwijin already, but the problem is what I am to him. The more I drop ahint about my feeling, he also trying to drop a hint that he have somebody else’s in his heart. A clear picture became blurring. Our common friends starting to share stories with me on how Dwijin very proud to show the one he likes, things that really breaking my heart, but I still continue to fight, like an only remaining soldier fighting for his country. This fight causes me a lot of heart pain, I don’t know how many times I attempt to surrender and retreat or fight until the bullet really hit my heart so I won’t ever survive.

One night I sense that the final bullet that I’m waiting for is coming. He invited me for a supper after work which I said yes. I am a crazy soldier who will face the death, it’s once and for all. Worst thing is I even ask Dwijin if he’s going to tell me something, something like asking him if he’s going to kill me and he answered yes. Nevertheless I still face the hard truth, when he picked me up from my workplace everyone thought it’s finally or officially labeled, without knowing that this is the end of my battle. 

That night I expecting a hard truth, the final bullet that the whole night I am waiting for, it turns out the other way; it turns out to be a date. We drunk, we ate, we talk, share stories and hello it’s really a date. I am so happy the whole time I am with him. We walk and even accompany me to go home. While inside the cab it’s like an ambush operation, a bullet straight away hit me. The truth has finally come; he started to share with me about this lady he really likes. I am bleeding, but since the bullet missed the center of my heart I still managed to survive and heal the wounds. I don’t know why, despite of the truth that he finally opens up to me, I’m still fighting for US. The “US” that only me knows. Maybe it’s because the way he said the truth.

After that night, the picture became so clear, very clear that you don’t need a magnifying glass. He is seriously in-love with someone and I am only a spare tire. From that moment I am only battling with myself. I battling with myself to surrender the fight for the “US” that I thought we have. It’s like a bungee jumping that suddenly the rope got cut midway, good thing I know how to swim though I am badly injured. 

Just like what other loser doing after the hard truth faced them, we tried our best to keep and maintain the closeness and friendship that we started. Though, it’s no longer Fun.

I Chased him, so what?

After the World Cup, I learned two things about him. His mobile number and He’s a gentleman.

Since that Day, I admired him even more. His Attitude + Unique Charisma sweep me off my feet. We started to exchange sms, more likely I initiate every sms we had in a day, a very Kristel. If I like the person I will give so much attention. 

We became closer than before, everytime we hang up with our fellow workmates afterwork, we always ended the night with physical contact, and that physical contact is holding each other’s hand. We hold hands for unknown reason, whoever initiate one, we don’t know, it’s just a mutual feeling or more like a magnet. After the parties we will walk outside from the bar like a couple. So I made a conclusion that maybe he likes me.

But it’s not easy; it’s like a roller coaster ride with him, the more I get to know him the more his flaws particularly in his attitude starting to show the truth. He’s really a hot and cold guy, does he likes me or not? is it yes or no? And at the same time I also doubt about my feelings toward him. Is this a real thing or just another game? Another past time? Another for Fun?. I debated with my own self, while following the beat of life, while still understanding and trying to figuring out what is he really thinking? Is he really feels the same? Or just like me, another person who is confused if it’s really something or nothing?

Until one day, Finally everything got answered, my doubts to myself and wondering about his emotions. He is in-love with somebody else and I am seriously in-love with him. He is trying to win the lady that he likes while me thinking what the hell holding hands and all of this caring all about?!. I am in-love but I felt I’ve been used for temporary happiness. And this facts makes my arguing with myself worst, I want to revenge but I want him to be with me for real. How am I supposed to know what to do and which one o really want to do?

Nevertheless I chased him. I chased him in a bit obvious ways. I keep giving or dropping a hint that I like him, I gave so much attention for him, as much as possible I want him to feel that I am really into him and he is special to me. I chased him like a guy who chased a lady. My motivations are our special physical contact, like the “holding hands” and those moments that we are both silly until we are unaware that actually we’re hugging each other in front of our customers. Those times he will purposely drop-by at our store that he didn’t do before and of course, the comments of those people surrounding us. They can give a fair judgment based on our body contacts.

I fought for my feelings and I chased him until I can, as long as I can hold on into this roller coaster ride. Until I lose my grip and finally let go…

How did you met?

The common question that is frequently asked to us, “How did you met”. Paano nga ba? Saan nga ba?

We met at the Bar. No, we didn’t bump to each other while having a night life, we knew each other as we’re both working in a bar but not at the same bar, our bars are rivalry in terms of business. I am working as a Bartender whiles him he works as a Bartender and at the same time learning how to run a Business. Though the Bars are competing in the Business world, Both Staffs are all good friends, just like a Family.

It was one of the afternoon’s of June,3:00 pm wherein both bars just opened and waiting for customers. I went outside to have a glance at their window to check who’s already in, just nice I saw this new guy standing behind the bar who I thought a Pilipino. When Ate Mylene went out, I asked her who that Guy is. I managed to get a total of 5 information about him. His name is Eugene, He’s a Singaporean, it was his first day, and he’s more like a trainee and a nephew of the owner. 

It’s my habit to go at their bar to borrow some stuffs, all of them are giving attention to me, they are fond of my bubbly personality, Only Eugene is the one who always snob me. But everything changes since the World Cup Finals. 

They invited me to watch World Cup Finals at their Bar after work, I bring along my good friend Chester to join me because I feel so shy, One of the bosses knew me as “Harry’s Girl” welcomes us. We had drink and had fun. I must admit, by that time find him cute, I suddenly felt this “crush” factor to him. He removed my first impression to him in my mind by showing his witty and friendly side. When ate introducing us to other staffs that we barely see, only his name I can’t pronounced. Two things why, it’s Hard (Dwijin) and I am mesmerized by his smile. He reached out his hand to me and trying to help me to pronounce his name while he’s mischievously smiling. 

The whole night the moment that we shake hands keeps on replaying mode inside my mind. I am drinking and socializing but still alert for his attention. He didn’t talk to me; we didn’t have a chance to have a chat or getting to know each other a bit. I just found out that he’s 27 when someone ask him how old is he, so I told myself that tonight is not my typical night. I didn’t get the attention of the guy that I am eyieng for that night. So instead of sitting at the corner and think what kind of a loser playgirl I am, I just mingle and have fun with the other staffs. Drink, laugh, talk, drink, drink, drink until I knocked out.

I seriously rolled like a chicken yakitori, I fell from any place that they will put me higher than the floor, I can’t walk to I always ask for some help when I feel like throwing up. Until they managed to place me at the stage wherein a lot of barricades. It was morning when I gained my strength again. we are still at the bar 7 in the morning. I asked for a coffee but Chester told me I must able to stand up first, I struggled a lot before I managed to stand and walk until I bumped to a wall.

That wall is actually Dwijin, because of the height differences and my very intoxicated mind I thought I bang into the wall, He hold me and I said “I wanna go home” and he said “Okay we will go home”. From the hill he assisted me by literally hugging to each other while walking. At the cab, we send Ate first and he sends me last. He paid for the cab fare when we reached my dormitory, as the dormitory rules, guys are not allowed to go inside the girls dorm. So, before we parted our ways I hugged him and say thank you.

And that’s how I met him, how everything started